The One Question That Helped Me Beat Self-Doubt
A personal story and mindset shift to help you stop holding back, trust your voice, and finally take action—even when doubt shows up.
There was a time when I was stuck in a deep crisis of self-doubt. It felt like everyone around me was happier, more successful, more certain about their lives.
My mistake? I believed that graduating from university and having a “real job” automatically brought happiness.
Then one day, I wrote a letter to my best friend—someone I had lost touch with for years—and surprisingly found her online. She had moved to Sweden and was working there as a doctor.
Her response changed everything.
She was thrilled to hear from me after so long, but then she shared something unexpected: she was burned out and deeply unhappy with her job and her life.
Reading her letter (yes, a real paper letter!) shattered so many of my old beliefs.
That moment made me realize: even without a university degree or a traditional job, I had so much to be proud of.
I’ve always worked in different small businesses—on our own terms—and I’ve learned a lot along the way.
My path was simply different.
When I started my first blog over six years ago, I didn’t feel an ounce of self-doubt. I wasn’t overthinking—I just followed my gut. I never questioned whether I was “qualified enough” to talk about personal finance for women.
But that changed when I launched my new Substack project.
This time, I was writing in English—not my native language—and focusing on online business, not finance.
That’s when the self-doubt crept in.
I started asking myself: Why me?
Why would anyone trust me to talk about building an online business when there are so many experts out there with more knowledge and bigger followings?
I moved forward anyway, but I felt insecure.
I didn’t fully believe in myself—and that led to my biggest mistake: instead of being myself, I tried to copy others who seemed more successful.
And it backfired.
I wasn’t gaining the subscribers I hoped for. I assumed the solution was to change my brand—again. So I rebranded my Substack, thinking that would fix it.
It didn’t.
Finally, I hit pause. I stopped publishing for a month and joined a course for my German business. In one of the first lessons, I heard something that changed my entire mindset.
A simple question:
Why not me?
It flipped everything.
Just one small word—not—made all the difference. Instead of doubting myself, I started to see my unique voice as a strength.
That question became the key to overcoming self-doubt and starting again—with more clarity and confidence than ever before.
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The Silent Struggle: What Self-Doubt Sounds Like
Looking back at my old thoughts, I can confidently say this:
Self-doubt is just another form of self-pity—and honestly, it’s a sneaky kind of procrastination.
Those familiar inner thoughts like: “I’m not ready,” “Who am I to do this?” —only serve one purpose: to hold us back. That’s it.
They don’t protect us. They don’t help us grow.
It’s just our primitive brain trying to keep us safe in our small, comfortable world.
But here’s the thing about the brain: It only gives us the right answers when we ask the right questions.
If you ask, “Why me?”—your brain will likely respond with reasons rooted in fear and self-doubt.
But if you ask, “Why not me?”—everything shifts. The answers suddenly feel lighter, more confident, more possible.
If you’re struggling with self-doubt right now, I want you to know: You’re not broken. You’re human.
That alone might not solve it—but it gives you something powerful: awareness.
And awareness is the first step in overcoming self-doubt.
Because overcoming self-doubt doesn’t mean becoming fearless.
It means moving forward—even when your inner critic is loud and convincing.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to start asking better questions.
The Mindset Shift: Why ‘Why Not Me?’ Works
Let’s come back to the question: Why not me?
Why is it so powerful—just by adding the word “not”?
The answer isn’t complicated if we take a closer look at both versions of the question.
When we ask “Why me?”, we often uncover limiting beliefs about our own abilities. Even when we know deep down what we’re capable of, we tend to downplay or dismiss those achievements.
But when we ask “Why not me?”, something shifts.
It’s like that moment when a defiant child does something just because someone said they couldn’t.
It’s not about thinking, “I can’t.” It’s about removing the limits and believing in what’s possible.
It’s similar to a thought like: “I could never do that.”
Instead of staying stuck in that belief, I’ve learned to reframe it into something more neutral—something that gives me space to grow, fail, learn, and keep going.
When a limiting thought shows up, I tell myself:
“I can’t do this yet. And that’s okay. I’ll learn how.”
For example:
Instead of saying “I could never write,” I now say:
“I can’t write now. But I’ll learn by writing for 10 minutes a day.”
Instead of “I could never start a newsletter,” I say:
“I can’t start it yet. But I’ll figure it out by taking a course and applying what I learn for one hour a day.”
That’s a big part of overcoming self-doubt—learning to replace disempowering thoughts with helpful, neutral ones that move you forward.
You don’t have to believe in yourself completely to begin.
You just need to be willing to try.
And the best place to start?
Find one limiting thought you’ve been holding onto—and rewrite it.
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Real-World Applications: How to Use This Question
Let’s make this mindset shift real and practical.
We’ve scratched the surface of overcoming self-doubt—but now let’s talk about how to use the question “Why not me?” in your everyday life.
Here are just a few situations where this simple question can change everything:
Asking for a raise when your inner voice says, “I don’t deserve it.”
Starting an investing plan even if you feel behind or unsure where to begin.
Launching a creative business when you worry the market is already full.
Saying yes to visibility—like being a guest on a podcast or speaking at an event—despite your fear of being judged.
Pitching your dream collaboration even if you think the other person is “out of your league.”
And here’s a personal example from me:
I’ve gone through my own journey of overcoming self-doubt around teaching online business. For a long time, I wondered: “Who am I to talk about this in English, when it’s not even my first language?”
But eventually, I came back to Substack with a fresh start and a clear focus:
The Substack Hustle—where I share what I know from building a newsletter while running my main business.
Next on my list?
Hosting my first Live on Substack.
It terrifies me a little—but my mentor Veronica keeps cheering me on.
What’s holding me back? Two things:
English isn’t my native language.
I don’t know exactly what to talk about yet.
But I’m doing it anyway.
Why not me? I’ll figure it out. It doesn’t need to be perfect. And honestly, no one will care about my accent—probably just me. 🙂
So now I’m asking you:
Where in your life are you saying “Why me?” instead of “Why not me?”
Want to write a book but don’t call yourself a writer (yet)?
Thinking about starting your Substack but keep putting it off?
Dreaming of creating a digital product but feel like an impostor?
Afraid to reach out to someone you admire?
Try flipping the question.
Because even if it doesn’t work the first time, what’s the worst that can happen?
You won’t die. You’ll learn, grow, and open doors you didn’t know existed.
And if you’re serious about overcoming self-doubt, you need a go-to tool.
This question—Why not me?—is mine. And it works.
Reflection & Action: Ask Yourself This Today
Let’s slow down for a moment and turn this from theory into transformation.
Because overcoming self-doubt is not just about reading inspiring words—it’s about choosing a new thought and taking the next small step.
Here’s your journaling or coaching prompt for today:
“What would I do today if I truly believed I was just as worthy as anyone else?”
Sit with that.
Let it land.
Don’t overthink—just write. Let it all pour out.
Now take it one step further.
👉 Write down one “Why not me?” goal.
Something that excites you and scares you just a little.
Something that keeps coming back into your mind—even if you’ve tried to talk yourself out of it.
It could be:
Start a weekly newsletter
Pitch your business to a podcast
Offer your first paid product
Finally say yes to something big that you’ve been saying no to (out of fear)
Remember:
You’re not asking for permission.
You’re not waiting to be chosen.
You’re choosing yourself.
You’re claiming your place.
That’s what overcoming self-doubt looks like in real life—not in big, dramatic leaps, but in one small brave decision at a time.
So, here’s your challenge:
✅ Write your “Why not me?” goal on a sticky note or your phone screen. Look at it every day.
And take one small step toward it this week.
You’ve got this.
And if that whisper of doubt comes up again?
Answer it with:
“Why not me?”
You Are Already Enough
If there’s one thing I hope you walk away with today, it’s this:
You don’t need to be more qualified.
You don’t need to wait for a sign.
You don’t need to be perfect, polished, or proven.
You are already enough.
That quiet whisper of self-doubt?
It shows up for all of us—especially when we’re on the edge of something meaningful. But now you know: that whisper isn’t truth. It’s just fear trying to protect you from growth.
When you shift from “Why me?” to “Why not me?”, you start stepping into your power. You stop shrinking and start showing up.
Not because you have all the answers—but because you’re willing to grow, to try, to trust yourself.
Go back to the moment I shared in the beginning—when I was stuck in comparison, questioning if I was “good enough” to even begin.
That version of me could never have imagined I’d be here, writing this to you now, helping others through the very thing I struggled with.
But I got here by asking the one question that changed everything.
And now it’s your turn.
🌱 I’d love to hear from you:
What’s your “Why not me?” moment?
Hit reply or leave a comment and share it with me.
You never know who you’ll inspire by sharing your story.
And if you know someone who could use this message today, feel free to pass it on.
You’re not behind.
You’re not too late.
You are exactly where you need to be—and you’re already more capable than you think.
Let’s keep going. One small, bold question at a time. 💛
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So easy to doubt ourselves because we can always find someone better than us. But they are not us. We are unique and valuable to someone 😊
Brilliant. Such a useful way to reframe thoughts.